I became a runner today. Not because I completed a marathon. Not for my disappointing time.
Becoming a runner was oddly triggered several days later as I reflected on the last few miles of the marathon. Cramping struck me hard at mile twenty-two. Gatorade, water, walking failed to provide relief from the cramps. I walked then tried to resume running right before the finish line. A cramp struck the large muscle that runs from the back of my knee to my hip. Finally, 200 yards before the finish, a veteran female runner in her sixty’s offered me peanut butter filled pretzels with a slight salt covering. I chomped twice then quickly swallowed two. This enabled me to run across the finish line. I finished under four hours; faster then my previous attempt. Disappointment quickly ensued. I analyzed everything I did that could have caused a different outcome.
I became a runner when this hyper analysis subsided and was overcome with a desire to run again. To once again experience the elation that occurs when after several miles you lose yourself. Your breathing becomes perfectly rhythmic; your footfalls cadenced, relaxed and effortless. During this run, this occurred around mile five. A group of seven of us were huddled around the 7:45/min mile pacer. We traversed the narrow trail out to the vineyards, our shoes striking the pavement in perfect rhythm, huddled close enough to hear each other’s breathing. I forgot about the race and the daunting miles in front of me. The fear of colliding with runners I lightly bumped up against during the initial race abated. My body never felt so free of tension and pain. Peace enveloped me. I was free of myself gliding along the path. God felt close. Everything felt perfectly connected. The surrounding runner’s footfalls background music.
As I completed my retrospective, I knew I would return to run again. To obtain that level of serenity I seem only to find around mile five. I hope to see you there soon.
Thank you so much for your donations to Multiple Myeloma and words of support.
Jack
